shipmaster | (no subject)

[ That bit of flattery strikes home well, by the pleased echo. ]

Still a shame for lost time. You don't diminish for learning more of you.

[ Miles looks pleased in turn; that soothes a bit of anxiety in him. ]

Have I answered everything you were curious about yet? Or did you have anything lingering?

[ They drum their fingers on the table. The missions were easy enough... ]

Taura, yes or no.

[ Well. He did literally ask for that. ]

... Yes. From the very first encounter.

[ What? ]

... She was a prisoner.

Indeed she was. But she didn't believe I was there to help her.

[ A faint flush. ]

She asked me to prove it to her.

[ Bel opens their mouth.

Closes it.

MOTIONS FOR MILES TO CONTINUE. EXPLAINING. ]

[ He clears his throat awkwardly. ]

She wanted to feel like a person. And - that was how she wanted to accomplish it. What was I supposed to do, refuse her?

[ There was a hundred answers to that, but instead only one came out in a burst of air. ]

Good Lord, Miles!

[ He hunches his shoulders a bit. There's a reason why he isn't usually open about that encounter, at least not without Taura there to be enthusiastically in agreement with him on it. She was young, he could have refused. But ... ]

I knew the feeling too well. Of - being physically different, unable to connect with other people in ways that felt like you were a person too. To have someone prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that your physicality could not only be accepted, but loved, perhaps.

[ His voice lowers. ]

If I'd been in the same position, I'd have been desperate for the same. I have been that desperate before.

[ Arguably, it's what got him into this mess. ]

Edited 2017-04-09 13:27 (UTC)

[ Ah, that argument stings. Strikes right between the armor and wedges into the heart as if designed for it. The herm deflates some sympathy edging out the disbelief.

They don't answer immediately, scraping the last crunchy bits of dessert from the edges of the fine white bowl in rumination. ]

I begin to see, yes.

What are you going to do about her with this change you're planning? [ Of all of them, timing could affect her the most. ]

[ Miles relaxes incrementally. He'll accept judgment; he knows how the whole situation looks. But he still feels as though he did what was best in the moment, for both Taura and himself. Refusing her would have done far more harm, he thinks.

There's a flare of stubbornness at Bel's next comment. ]

Rescue her still. Earlier if I can. She'll still have a home in the Dendarii, no matter how planetbound I become. Mark is in the same situation.

Well, Mark. [ Bel waves a dismissive hand. ]

... At least we know where she is. You'll need to come up with a different argument this time, I imagine.

Naturally. But I'll manage something, dammit. There's no way I'm leaving her.

Good. ... Earlier is better. [ They aim the spoon definitively. ] For Nicol too.

[ He nods firmly at that. ]

For Nicol tool. We'll free them both, I swear it.

[ They nod, more than satisfied by that. Even the youngest Miles Bel had known would stand by his word. ... Even with the confession to the contrary moments ago. ]

Good, back to the more entertaining bits. Elena?

Edited 2017-04-09 14:22 (UTC)

[ Ah, Elena. He warms a bit. ]

An old friend. My first romantic interest, though she never really returned it. She's the daughter of my bodyguard, Bothari.

I'd wondered...

[ Well, there was one they were sure about, but their sense of entertainment couldn't NOT ask. ]

Baz?

Coincidence. Ran into him on Beta Colony. Dragged him along.

[ Much to his own dismay, though Elena was happy in the end... ]

Edited 2017-04-09 15:14 (UTC)

I was talking about bedding, but that's interesting. What was a Barrayaran deserter doing there?

[ Miles makes a face. ]

Bed him? Like hell. It took me forever to adjust to being bisexual even with the range here. Never Baz.

[ He shake his head sharply. ]

Hiding, mostly.

Well, there WERE rumors. It's good to explore all of them. [ THERE we go. Bel laughs, tapping the spoon against the side of the dish in some light, cheerful tempo.

They sober after a moment.]

To pick Beta of all places to hide... That's a hell of a grid, I didn't even know there were places off it.

Is the service that bad, there?

Edited 2017-04-09 15:22 (UTC)

[ Dammit, Bel. Despite the fancy atmosphere, Miles flicks a bit of raspberry at them. ]

I have standards, dammit.

[ But - well, that's a real question, isn't it. Miles has to think for a long moment. ]

It ... can be. The choice between doing something terrible and doing what your CO wants to do is all the more pressuring on Barrayar. A choice between death and dishonor, with desertion meaning both. Remember my story about Kyril Island?

I do. [ They frown... if that was some standard... No wonder. ]

Why did you want that more than us?