shipmaster | (no subject)

[ He's silent a long moment. Because the other insurmountable problem is - ]

They'll confine me to Barrayar if they find out. Simon won't let me go out again - so any return to the Dendarii would be one way.

[Which means being on the run FROM Barrayar too.]

So... why not seek treatment off planet? Say, for instance, I feel homesick.

[ Miles blinks at Bel rather stupidly. ]

On Beta Colony?

You're right. [Bel pretended, cheerfully.] Escobar would be even less likely to grant a request for medical records from Barrayar of all places. It would be much harder to swing the excuses for the visits though. I'm sure we could get into tech transport for a regular, easy paycheck.

... No. Beta. Better security and way more paranoid about Barrayaran spies.

I - well -

[ He flushes a bit even as his mind scrambles to catch up. ]

My grandmother would be pleased to see us, at least.

[Bel can be particularly quick and twisty when it comes to what they want. In this case, Miles, Miles getting treatment, and not being on Barrayar for who knows how long... without oh, say, being chased all over the greater Nexus by ANOTHER empire.]

Sounds like a plan, then.

[ Congrats, you've successfully outmaneuvered Miles. ]

I still ought to stay a short while. A week, perhaps. To ensure that Da is recovering.

Longer, if you like. I wouldn't begrudge family. [They just object to INDEFINITE.]

All right then. We can play it by ear,

[ And for now ... Miles lightly tugs on Bel's arm, pulling them down. ]

[Bel gives Miles a look of abject curiosity, but follows suit.]

Miles?

[ Gently, he leans up to kiss them on the cheek. ]

Thank you, by the way.

[They smile, eyes closing halfway at that.]

For what? Honestly, this place hasn't been that bad.

Even so. You didn't actually turn me down when it looked like we might be here indefinitely.

No, I would have stayed. [And that was the truth, as ugly and hard to look at as it was. But in a way, they've traded their life to keep Miles'...]

It's a crappy bodyguard who only sticks around for the easy shifts.

That doesn't mean I have to take it for granted.

... I really shouldn't be surprised that you wouldn't. It's nice, all the same.

Good. Lie down next to me, won't you?

[Bel smiles, pulls one arm around Miles and sinks down into the mattress.]

Gladly.

[ Miles curls in close to them, looping an arm around their waist. He's too tired to do anything except appreciate Bel's warm proximity. ]

I hate being helpless like this.

[They really hadn't talked about more, just a question mark floating vaguely around "probably not" but in some ways, this was far more intimate anyway.]

Maybe it's associated with the cascades... if that's the last major one...

[ MIles exposes himself more this way anyway. ]

Then I might get better on my own?

I'm not going to offer false hope...

But until it happens sometime not related to memories, we can't exactly rule it out either.

[ He's silent a moment. Wanting to hope so very badly ... ]

The first time. It wasn't a cascade.

With the fast penta or was there another time?

No, I mean the fight. With the Queen. I was just ... overwhelmed.